O.K Moms out there, I need some help and perspective. Here is my problem. Emma is doing softball this spring, I have told many of you about this already. She was put on a team of all third grade girls (this level is all second and third grade). These girls were together last season and two of the Moms are the coaches. They are excellent coaches and the girls are all nice but many of them are really close with each other because they go to school together or were already friends before. Emma is sort of odd man out. She is really enjoying herself but I know she is feeling a bit left out. Tonight after her game she came home and wants to make cards for all the girls on her team. When I suggested she make them and give them out at the end of the season, kind of a celebration thing she totally teared up and said that she wants to give them out at tomorrows game. I asked her if she is not feeling part of the group and is making the cards to try to make friends she tearfully nodded. My heart broke. I see myself in her so much! I feel that pain of being left out, of wanting to do something to fit in and make people like me. My first instinct is to convince her not to make them. What if they think its a dumb idea? What if they don't appreciate the sentiment and just hurt her feelings? Do third grade girls like getting cards? I can't stand to have her hurt. And I hate that I can't quite see past my own little girl hurts too have a good perspective on this.
I walked out of the room after telling her that we would talk about it later and I prayed.....
Then just now I am reminded of two things. First, I heard a Mom once say that her greatest goal for her children was to glorify the Lord. That is what I want for my kids too. Also, any act of love, whether received by the person it is given to or not, is received by the Lord. He never lets an act of love fall.
So, as much as it makes me nervous, as much as it actually makes me want to bawl, I must allow her to put herself out there. Because I don't want to squash this loving instinct in her. Hopefully the girls receiving the cards won't squash it either. But if they do both me and the Lord are here to help her through it.
Man, growing up is tough!
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Even before you came to the "I prayed.." part, I was thinking in my head that letting her give them was probably the best choice.
ReplyDeleteI think eventually us girls second guess/triple guess so many of our decisions and right now we can't let them do that too. It was a genuine sweet idea and you have to foster that!
I'll be praying for you friend - these things cannot be easy. I'm going to pray that at least one of those girls takes Em. under her wing and a great great season full of joy.
I'm with Stef. Such a hard situation. It makes me think of myself also. I would never have made cards though because I would have feared rejection. I would just praise her for wanting to "bless" her team. What a sweet dear!
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